Today I've got special treats for you androids out there. No, they're not Ding Dongs, those round chocolate cakes with a flat top and a white creamy filling...Nope, I don't have advance copies of Google's forthcoming iPhone challenger, the G1 "Android" phone (Sorry, I know, that would've been nice)...What I do have are your very own RobotSound™ Ringtones!

A couple friends appreciated my Galaga ringer, so I thought why not make a few more to share amongst like-minded folks. Since most commercially available ringtones don't cater to my tastes, I tried to find sounds that kept the robot in mind which worked well in the cell phone context. Most are arcade game-centric but the few that aren't still sound like they could have been from games. All were made on Cellsea, which also lets you to upload wallpapers, video and games. If you want to make your own from your favorite coin-op game of choice, Digitpress has a great stock of vintage mp3s and sound effects you can use.

Game Ringtones
Computor Rockers - Galaga
Computor Rockers - Burgertime
Computor Rockers - Pengo
Tapper
Berzerk [My current ringtone]
Steve Claydon [ex-Add N to [X]] - Arkanoid

Non-Game Ringtones
Dis*ka - Being Boiled
Dis*ka - Smells Like Teen Spirit
Frederik Schikowski - Rubik's Cube
Frederik Schikowski - Utopia Brasilia
Le Car - Audiofile 10
Le Car - Flame Job

All of the above, plus several more can be found on this page. If your phone doesn't allow you to visit the site (like mine didn't), you'll have to find a program that lets you copy files directly to your phone, via USB. For my now-ancient RAZR V3 I used P2K Commander, which also allowed me to make space by deleting some of the crappy default ringtones the phone came with...

And so let freedom ring from the pixelated screens of Silicon Valley.

Let freedom ring from every byte and kilobyte of your carrier's Coverage Area.

...and sing in the words of the old robot spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank Bot Almighty, free tones at last!

While there's still a few hours left of Christmas (at least here in California), I thought I'd post a few more festive tracks to keep you feeling that holiday spirit. Some of these are from the Christmasasaurus Vol. 2 comp, so I apologize for giving you the same presents twice.

Xmas '07

Tracks:
The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping
Bit Shifter - Winter Wonderland
Casiotone for the Painfully Alone - Cold White Christmas
Saint Etienne - I Was Born On Christmas Day
Cocteau Twins - Frosty the Snowman
Au Revoir Simone - The Winter Song
Temp Sound Solutions - Dance of the Sugarplum Faeries
Me First and The Gimme Gimmes - Hava Nagilah (Gotta have at least one token Jewish song)
The Sonics - Santa Claus
The Crystals - Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Cristina - Things Fall Apart (My pick for best Christmas song ever)
Sally Shapiro - Anorak Christmas
Signaldrift - Dripping Angels
Hai Robotto - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen First Noel
Simian Mobile Disco - I Believe (SMD Space Dub)
Seefeel - Spangle

Let's be honest, most Christmas "Muzak" is usually a depressing affair. And yet, as every greedy kid knows, "X-mas" can sometimes mean video games...Finally, there is some X-mas music that combines true holiday cheer with video game love: the Christmasasaurus Vol. 2 compilation of 8-Bit covers presented by Peppermint Pony and Bubblegum Octopus. Released by netlabel Candy Mind last year, you can download it for free here. The second in a series, this compilation features 24 artists, many of whom are clearly "taking the piss," but some of whom do brilliant versions of X-mas classics.

My personal favorites: Bit Shifter's computerized ode to snowy festivities, Winter Wonderland. Peppermint Pony's breakcore version of Deck the Halls. Bubblyfish's jet-powered Sleigh Ride. Nikaena Vizukae's wonderfully inspirational O Holy Night. 8-Bit w0nder's sweet, switched-on Dance of the SugarPlum Sprites. Lameboy's glitchy and catchy Joy To The World.

But by far the best is Unicorn Dream Attack's vocoder anthem L1ttl3 Drumm3r B0y, which reminds me of Grace Jones's stunning robotic appearance on the Pee-wee's Playhouse Christmas Special. Also, like Ms. Rene states in Pee-wee's special, thankfully there is a "Jewish portion of the show" with Animal Style's version of the perennial Hanukkah standard, Al Hanisim. Lastly, to round out the year, A Beautiful Lotus gives us Auld Lang Syne.

*BONUS LEVEL*: Datashat's hilarious Santa Claus Taking Sir Paul McCartney Up the Wrong'n. He explains: "Despite 'Wonderful Christmas Time' being a thoroughly wretched piece of filth, it has some irresistably nice little bits of synth work going on, you know you love it really, you little scamp."

Pardon the last few days' downtime - my database became corrupted (probably due to the work of some dastardly ninjas or pirates), frustrating this technology-challenged droid and leaving you guys without the updates you crave. Not exactly sure how this happened, but we'll be upgrading this weekend, eliminating problems such as these. The future of Robotsound™ will once again be secure.

Speaking of the future, it's clear that the music industry is heading in an increasingly digital direction. With the rise of the mp3 and the ubiquitousness of the iPod, CDs and eventually DVDs will go the way of the cassette/8-track. While there will always be an ever-shrinking niche audience of vinyl-whores like myself, nearly all other music junkies will be getting their fixes mainlined digitally to their drives. One type of dealer who supplies them is known as the netlabel, who have been quietly surfacing in recent years, consistently improving the quality of their product. Here's a small sample bag so you can acquaint yourself with some of these audio pushers. Midi junkies, gonna fuck you up!

Sweet Smelling Surfaces
Run by a crazy, French, noodle fetishist aka Tampopo (and his bad lieutenant Supakaji), this netlabel boasts releases from Plastique de Reve, Linda Lamb, Scape One and a host of artists you've never heard of. The sssounds on this label are not confined to any one musical genre, so prepare to discover the unexpected.
Micromusic
While the bleeps and blips might be small, the idea behind the micromusic community is quite macro. Microeventz occur 'round the globe (540 eventz in the last 7 years!) as much music (be it worky, fucky, sporty, spooky, lovely, funky and/or relaxy) gets uploaded and sucked down daily from micromusic hq.
8 bit peoples
For eight years this collective has expressed their love/obsession of video games in their approach to music. Here too you will find plenty in the way of hi-energy/lo-bit fun; Visiting this site is akin to chancing upon an arcade with all of your favorite quarter-munching machines, plus they're all set to unlimited credits. 1up!

Stay current on the burgeoning netlabel phenom:
Sonic Squirrel
Bleepwatch

Avoid Excessive Listening
Use Only In Moderation
Use With Caution: May Be Habit-Forming
May Cause Sleeplessness
Energy Drinks/Caffeine May Intesify This Effect

Coco Electrik - Sex Shooter
(We Are) Performance - Free Fallin'
Datashat - Don't You Want SID + How Does It Feel
Boys of Scandinavia - Bela Lugosi's Dead
Overproof Soundsystem - The Model
Busy P - It's More Fun To Compute

There are some purists who like their robots to be totally devoid of emotion. Then there are those, like me, who like the full range of robot "emotion" in their music (call me sentimental). So, let's imagine some sort of robotic "emotion chip" and consider some musical examples...

MELANCHOLY
Let's face it: robots go through existential crises too, whether it be from loneliness, heartbreak, or doubts about their purpose in the world. And humans can sympathize with robots: when the robot sings in Kraftwerk's Radioland, I get a lump in my throat...

= mr_hopkinson's computer™ does a haunting cover of The Smiths song Asleep on the album Mr_Hopkinson's Computer Sings, available here.
= Solvent does a lovely, bittersweet version of Slowdive's When The Sun Hits from Blue Skied An' Clear: A Morr Music Compilation.
= Memory Boy as a broken-hearted "emo" robot in There Is No Electricity from Ghostly International presents Tangent 2002: Disco Nouveau.
= Wolfgang the robot has a touching back story behind Not In Love Not True.
= Microvax - Robarthes is a pensive French robot. Je pense donc je suis.

SWEET
Robots are cute: just look at Astroboy, or real life robots ASIMO and PaPeRo, they're adorable.

= Tobiah's epic chiptune I Love Your Music from the Glitter & Bleep (Joystick Pop) compilation, also available at Micromusic.
= ISAN - Iron Eyes, from the album Meet Next Life.
= Plastik Kettle - Green Travel, from the album Our Toys Are Better Than Yours (a great title). Fans of the Suction Records robots will like this.
= Plone - Plock, from the album For Beginner Piano. Shame on WARP for never releasing Plone's still unreleased 2nd LP.
= Mikron64 - Ikea, from the Etwas Zeit EP.

HOSTILE
Obey these sinister robots or they will crush you. Translation: "Destroy All Humans!"

= Industrial Bass Machine - Devastate The Planet from the excellent album, A Taste of Armageddon.
= Datathief - Night Raid from the SKAM compilation Skam 0161.
= Tinfoil Teakettle - Think Like Us, from the Suction Records compilation Snow Robots Volume 3.
= Datassette - Run Human!, from the Maintenance Werk EP available for download here.
= Mr. Velcro Fastener - Real Robots Don't Die from the album Lucky Bastards Living Up North.

ARROGANT
You have to love a robot with an ego: Pushin' more power than a Duracell. These are "funky" robots, here to give you what you need, and what you need is bass!

= Plaid's fantastic remix of Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five's Scorpio on their remix album Parts In The Post.
= Man Parrish - Boogie Down Bronx. Just a 'bot from the block. On the real.
= Exzact - Sub.Sonic. Base from the Second Wave EP.
= Solenoid - The Narcissist from the album The Narcissist.
= Multiplex - Rock Robot, from the Pinghaus Frequencies LP.

ROBOTIC
Sometimes robots just sing about being robots, okay? Whether it be data, hard disks, calculations, or being made of metal...or "making circuits" with pleasure bots.

= Console - 14 Zero Zero, from Rocket In The Pocket is one of the best robot songs ever.
= Bochum Welt - Feelings On A Screen. Yes, the title of this article is taken from this song.
= Abfahrt Hinwil - Syntax Data, from the Toytronic compilation, Neurokinetic.
= Hong Kong Counterfeit - Metal Disco [Legowelt vs. Orgue Electronique RMX].
= Gimmik does math in Rc Units from Slow Motion Process.

A little over a year ago, I launched this site with the lyrics to Kraftwerk's The Robots. Without Kraftwerk, us robots might never have been unleashed on an unsuspecting world. They made it cool to Do the Robot, Do It Like A Robot, or simply enjoy Asian Pop Culture. So, it's entirely fitting that I find in my inbox today news of an upcoming Kraftwerk tribute album. Now I know that there are plenty of tribute albums out there that aren't worth the plastic from the CDs they're encoded on [*cough* Hypnotic]. Add that to the fact that tributes to this particular band have been released on plenty of occasions, with interpretations spanning from Classical [Balanescu Quartet] to Simulated Cha-Cha-Cha [Señor Coconut Y Su Conjunto] and everything in between. But this model looks promising in that it keeps with the pioneering ethos of the group that made Music Non-Stop [i.e. Techno Pop].

Put out by the [micro]superstars of the chiptuniverse, 8-Bit Operators, these lo-bit microchipmeisters and their homemade circuit-bent contraptions actually seem worthy enough to cover the classics of Der Düsseldorf Man-Machines. With CD and vinyl dropping in February on Astralwerks, you'll be sure to Smack Your Blip Up!