After countless attempts by dr™ of trying to convince me to impart some of my vast musical knowledge by contributing to RobotSound™, I've finally decided to discuss one of my favorite dance music genres, New Beat. This was the sound created primarily by Belgian producers from '87 to '89 that forged a link between the EBM and Acid House of the mid-to-late 80s with the Rave/Hardcore Techno scene of the early 90's.

According to dance lore, New Beat was inadvertantly created when a deejay played an EBM 12", Flesh by A Split Second, at 33rpm instead of it's intended speed of 45rpm. Besides their slower tempo, New Beat hits were also characterized by their use of sexually explicit samples, especially those taken from NYC shock performance artist Karen Finley. After a couple years, New Beat morphed into the even shorter-lived Skizzo and Hard Beat sub-genres, which in turn were the precursors of early 90's Rave/Hardcore...

With that cursory introduction, I present:
Vodka Ed's Top 10 Jams of New Beat.

Warning: Some of the videos and/or corresponding audio may not be suitable for the workplace environment ;)

10. A Split Second - Flesh
Since this is the track that supposedly started the whole shebang, it's inclusion on the list is essential.

9. 101 - Move Your Body
One of the MANY projects of Praga Khan and friends. Though there were seemingly lots of different New Beat artists, in reality most output was created by two (or maybe three) groups of producers. This was 101's 2nd hit, after their anthemic Rock To The Beat, though I always thought this was the better track.

8. Moments of Ecstacy - You and Me
Another alias of Praga and crew. Like I said, they used LOTS of different names to make you THINK there was a whole scene.

7. Erotic Dissidents - Move Your Ass And Feel The Beat
This is the full 12" mix from the ultra-productive (one could even say robot-like) Morton-Sherman-Belucci, the New Beat equivalent of Hi-NRG's production whizzes Stock, Aitken & Waterman, who also brought us such classics as Shake Your Hips and Jack To The Air Of The Underwear.

6. Taste Of Sugar - Hmm Hmm
Some cheesy dancing here in another Morton-Sherman-Belucci production. Note the dancers are wearing proto-typical New Beat fashion. Many of these 12"s came with inserts where you too could mail order the clothes.

5. Space Opera - Mandate My Ass
This one gets included for the title alone. Some members of Space Opera included CJ Bolland, David Morley and R & S Records founder Renaat Vandepapeliere.

4. Technotronic Feat. Felly - Pump Up The Jam ("Live")
Easily the biggest and most instantly recognizable hit of the New Beat era. As everyone knows, Felly was just the blue-lipped lip-synching model, whose presence record execs felt would likely sell more records. In actuality, Ya Kid K was the uncredited singer/rapper. Here's the original video for a laugh (dig the fannypack).
I don't want a place to stay
Get your booty on the floor tonight
Make my day

3. Lords of Acid - I Sit On Acid
'88 + 303 = Sit on your face...I wanna sit on your face. Soulwax put out I Sit On Acid 2000, an electro remix a few years back.

2. Major Problem - Acid Queen
New Beat doesn't get much hotter than this. Perfect for your Robot S&M parties (don't ask me, dr™ asked me to include that line). Now I want you to get down on your hands and knees...

1. Miss Nicky Trax - Acid In The House
Don't ask me what pumping iron and women's wrestling have to do with this masterpiece of the genre. As part-time New Beat revivalist V/Vm so succinctly puts it, I Wanna Fuck Miss Nicky Trax.

A new book by David Levy recently came out entitled "Love and Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships" which the good dr™ kindly asked me to write about, despite my not having read it...a premature evaluation, if you will. Well, here's my two cents on the subject based on what little I've thought about it.

Sounds like a great fucking idea. I say, "Bring. It. On!" At least if we're talking from a strictly sexual standpoint. Robot love? Let's discuss the robot sex part first.

What this basically boils down to is refined masterbation; interaction with a "super deluxe vibrator" of sorts. I can't say how it is for most people, but it seems to me, optimally, that people try to simulate real sex in their imagination while they masterbate. Why WOULDN'T you want to use a convincing tool to help elevate the sense of realness? If these robo-whores with machine feelings turned out to be amazing, no one need go sexually unsatisfied ever again, especially if they're customizable.

Truthfully though, wouldn't it be a really long time before these sexual automatons became affordable for personal ownership? I'd imagine long before that there would be robo-brothels, where minimum wage workers enter the cybersex rooms after the johns took care of business to spray down the robo-prostitutes with sanitizer...but who knows? I figure if they can make a robot fuck, they can probably have it clean itself...I'd bet these cybernetic love machines could even be self-lubricating, if desired.

Now as far as the robot "love" thing goes..."Love" is a pretty hard thing to define anyway. But is loving a robot a good idea? *shrugs* I can't see why not if it makes you happy. I guess what it would come down to would be the matter of being able to completely suspend disbelief [think Lars and the Real Girl], albeit on a much deeper level than just doing it temporarily so you can shoot your load. I mean, on the one hand, I can see why it could be immensely appealing to make a robot interact however you wanted it to...but on the other hand, how could you convince yourself it was real if it was completely predictable and never disagreed with you? Where's the love in that?

Fucking robots is a wonderful idea. Loving robots seems like it could fuck with my head slightly less than getting involved with a flesh-and-blood human being, but would still probably mess me up pretty good nonetheless. But then if I were ever to go that route, I'd probably have concurrent relationships with at least three completely different robo-sluts (granted I could afford it), and they'd be cleaning my apartment, chauffeuring me around, fixing me exotic drinks...

Enjoy the latest RobotSound mix. Equal parts future disco/Italotronique, EBM, and percussion-driven electro with a Whitney/Kraftwerk mash-up and Iggy Pop cover thrown in for good measure.

HOTBOX 12.1.07

Tracklist:
Creme de Menthe - Do You Want My Love?
Francisco - Esplanade 97
Op:l Bastards - Sagittarius [Disco Flavour Remix by Patrick Pulsinger]
Microthol - Moroder Machine
The Immortals - Ultimate Warlord
Sync 24 - I Don't Know
Girls on Top - I Wanna Dance With Numbers
Nitzer Ebb - Control (I'm Here) [Dubfire's Jamrock Remix]
Dirty Princess - Jugaral Reves
Human Body - Galactica [The Hacker Remix]
Manic Mind - Mentally Sick
Anthony Rother - Moderntronic 1
Bass-A-Rani - Boogie Chasers [Dexter Edit]
Huntemann - Disco Tech [Die Raketen Remix]
Crash Course in Science - Cardboard Lamb [David Carretta Remix]
Princess Superstar - Do It Like A Robot [Hell Rocks the Equalizer Remix]
Mix Machine - Phreax
Archigram - Doggystyle
Polygamy Boys - Polygamy Boys Theme
Mr. Pauli - Satisfaction

If someone were to ask me what my orientation is, I would have to say, "Electrosexual." Like the title of one of Imatran Voima's 12"s states, Electro Is Aural Sex. I can't quite place my finger on it (so to speak), but there's something that's just so sexy about it. Maybe something to do with the beats being good to have sex to? I wouldn't know. [I'm a robot, remember?]

For a significant number of acts in the electrosphere, sex figures heavily into the equation. I suppose sex has always been a fixture in the mix along with drugs and rock n' roll, but with these guys, it's just a bit more blatant. You need only hear the names of the bands to realize that there's sumpin' jiggy going on.

Enjoy Youtube.com while you can since certain evil corporate entities are already hard at work trying to shut it down.
Here are a few clips I'm enjoying at the moment:
Gorillaz - Dare [Live in Manchester]
Heaven 17 - Let Me Go
Soft Cell - Sex Dwarf [long lost banned video] - heard about this one for years. Glad to see it has finally been unearthed.
Vanity 6 - Nasty Girl
Vitalic - My Friend Dario

As much as we like "person"alities, here at Robotsound™ we prefer our machines to remain anonymous (or at least use several pseudonyms so as to keep the public at large guessing). Until very recently (tonight, in fact), I had no idea who the person behind Creme de Menthe was. There was no website back when his one and only EP, Plastique, came out way back in 2001 on the limited Optimo Singles Club label, then re-released a year later on Disko B. Five years later, Scotsman Matthew Aldworth, Creme de Menthe, has finally released his debut LP, The Impossiblity of Eroticism in The Suburbs. Apart from his name, I still know next to nothing about this artist, but that kind of thing never bothers me. I guess it's also fitting that The Mysterymen show up on a few of the album's tracks.

There once was a time when I didn't like vocals in the electronic music I was listening to. If some wailing diva came into the mix or MC Whack started toasting, that usually killed a track for me. I'm still not a fan of divas or whack-ass MCs, but I don't mind vocals the way I used to (that's not to say that there isn't a lot of vocal-y stuff out there that blows). When it comes to vocals, I prefer those that are either tweaked through machines and are therefore somewhat undecipherable or sung/spoken in a foreign language. Maybe it restores some of the music's mystery that you usually can only get when listening to instrumentals.

Now even though I live in Los Angeles, I don't speak the tongue native to these parts, Spanish (hmmm...maybe I'll take a class). If I did speak Spanish, I'd be able to decipher the elocutions emanating from the muy caliente Dirty Princess. Not only do these muchachas put out some of the best hard-edged electro out there, but they've also made some rather naughty videos [strictly for new wave adult 18+ sex robots ONLY]. All this robot can say is Dios Mio! Expect to see more of Dirty Princess as they get pimped out in the new year - they've recently signed with head Gigolo, DJ Hell.